Our good friend and Pure Pop compatriot Herb has left the building – and though he is gone, the emotional trauma he inflicted his memory lives on, namely in the music he played instore – and a faint mildewy odor that still lingers on around the bathroom. Below is a list of songs that that have that watery smack of herb we’ve all come to love, albeit in that way you love a retarded child.
Richard Harris – McArthur Park
This is a great example of herb’s ability to look past schmaltzy production staight to the emotional sentiment of a song. Where a lesser music appreciator would only see an obscure reference to mid 20th century poet W. H. Auden’s musings on a long life irrevocably lived – Herb looked deeper stating “Dude, it’s not about a cake. It’s about a girl. Who left his cake out in the rain.”
Sparks – Equator
Herb loved his joke bands. If you wore a hitler mustache and used puns in your album titles Herb’s probably commented on your youtube videos.
Husker Du – Eight Miles High
Any time we’ve ever done lists here on Pure Pop Online herb will inevitably sneak in a Husker Du song. Don’t ask me why. I think he had his first kiss while listening to Zen Arcade, when he was 25.
Guided By Voices – My Valuable Hunting Knife
Herb may be alot of things, but one thing he is not not is a Rob Pollard apologist… Give it a second.
Prefab Sprout – When Love Breaks down
As i said previously, herb has an uncanny knack for seeing right through the trappings of a particular period or genre and right to it’s frosted tip’ed, tear stained, incredibly self indulgently over-emotional core. And his introduction of Prefab Sprout to my life finally allowed me to listen to something other than Kate Bush, for about a week.
Pulp – Common People
Herb: “See lecherous, bitter misanthropes CAN make great music!”
Daft Punk – One More Time
There’s this dance that herb does – it’s sort of like the Carlton Banks but whiter. Sorta like this:
New Order – The Perfect Kiss
Though i may never forgive herb for making me listen to ol’ Berny’s side project Bad Lieutenant, i can never thank him enough to for finally opening my eyes back in the mid aughts to this band. These guys changed my perspective on what “Electronic” and “Punk” and “Dance” meant and much like Herb, introduced me to a whole world of excellent and under appreciated artists.
Thanks buddy, you’ll be missed.
This month marks the end of my six year run at Pure Pop. I’m moving to San Francisco where I will most likely move in with my recently-widowed best friend and his brother-in-law to help him raise his three adorably precocious daughters.
I got my first music-retail job fourteen years ago and the majority of my time since then has been spent in this wonderful business. It’s bitter-sweet to be leaving the game. If you’ll indulge me, I’d like to submit one-last rambling “Pop Five” for this website:
The 5 Things I’ll Miss Most About Music Retail
1. The Pipeline -
Through this work I have been exposed to countless bands and albums I’ve come to cherish. Many were recommended by coworkers. Often, a visible interest by our customers has brought something to my attention. Other times I’ve simply taken a chance on something that looks interesting. The sum result is that on what feels like a daily basis this job has consistently provided me with the joy of musical discovery.
2. There Are No Standards of Appearance at a Record Store -
Don’t feel like shaving for a couple of weeks? Is your hair matted and greasy? Do you dress in clothes most people wouldn’t lower themselves to wear if they were painting their house? Music retail is for you. The only time I ever got shit for my outfit at Pure Pop was when I wore a ratty button-down I came to find bore a striking resemblance to the “puffy shirt” of Seinfeld fame.
3. I Believe in Music -
I don’t think it’s cynical to say a lot of people don’t love their jobs. For most of us, it’s a means to an end. I’ve had plenty of jobs that have left me unfulfilled, unstimulated and a little guilt-ridden. For example, I spent a summer working a movie concession stand and felt awful selling buckets of value-less popcorn to obese people for way too much money. At Pure Pop, I believe our product has value, and I’ve been proud to sell it.
4. The Customers -
It would be disingenuous to suggest that every person who walks through the door at Pure Pop is an expert conversationalist with immaculate taste in music, but by and large the people who walk through our door are an intelligent, agreeable and discerning bunch. I’ve struck up more conversations with strangers here than I’ve had hot meals. Pure Pop customer base, you will be missed.
Not pictured: Our customers
5. My Coworkers -
I’m not one for sentimentality and neither are my coworkers, but dammit, they are a lovable bunch. Pure Pop has its share of slow periods, and thanks to the kind of company our staff provides, what would otherwise be unbearable is rendered as pleasant as most social activities. I’m really gonna miss those fuckers.
I think I’m gonna let Roky Erickson take me out with a song that’s more melancholy than the situation merits.
Some may see it as a creatively bankrupt practice but puns in album titles delight me, particularly puns built out of artists names. If I ever come out with an album, I’ll probably call it, “Herb Today, Gone Tomorrow” or some such nonsense. If you’re looking for a cheap way to entertain yourself and some friends, come up with hypothetical punned-name album titles for everyone in the room. It’s not a contest. Everyone’s a winner.
Let’s take a look at some classic examples and consider their degree of success.
1. Ozzy Osbourne – “Ozzmosis”
This is a good place to start because what we have here is a pun that doesn’t really work. The problem? Ozzy’s making a pun out of a dry, scientific term. It doesn’t really provoke an emotional response or visual association. What if Connor Oberst released an album and called it “Connorvalescence?” Pretty lame, right?
2. Justin Timberlake – “Justified”
JT really rides the line here. I dare say if the man wasn’t so darn cool, this pun would come off as pretty lame. The only bad idea this man’s charisma hasn’t been able to redeem is his performance in The Love Guru. (More like The Loathe Guru. Right?)
3. Greg Kihn – Kihnspiracy
Ladies and gentlemen, meet Greg Kihn, the most prolific punner-of-one’s-own-name in existence. Some highlights from his discography include, “Next of Kihn,” “Rockihnroll,” “Kihntinued,” “Kihntagious,” “Citizen Kihn,” “Unkihntrollable,” “Kihn of Hearts” and “True Kihnfessions.” Mr. Kihn, we at the Pure Pop Blog salute you.
4. Miles Davis – “Milestones”
Like JT’s Justified, this pun doesn’t call attention to itself with unconventional spelling. It’s innocuous, but it works. What a shame Miles Davis didn’t pun his name more often, “Miles” has such puntential.
5. George Strait – “Strait from the Heart”
God bless him. This is not my kind of music, and the cover is nothing short of abysmal, but “Strait from the Heart” is as good as punned-name album titles get. Greg Kihn would be proud. (Or jealous.) This really makes me wish my last name was Strait. Curse my heritage.
We’ve all seen those annoying “Before They Were Famous” bits on tv and in print. Well, here at the Pure Pop Blog we’re not above indulging in cliches. The truth is a lot of you have probably seen this stuff before. However, those that haven’t need to. We must never forget that these beloved artists are fallible.
Phil Collins – Flaming Youth
Claim to Fame - Phil Collins is currently shorthand for soulless mainstream garbage but he used to be pretty cool. He’s a first rate drummer who’s elevated many classic albums with his contributions and he revolutionized the way we feel about things coming in the air at night. His first high-profile gig was drumming for Genesis, a band he would go on to lead into the upper stratosphere of musical success.
Before All That - Collins was the drummer for Flaming Youth, a pastoral rock quartet who to be fair weren’t all that bad. They never really went anywhere, prompting the young and eager musician to pursue other projects. How much does this video remind you of Spinal Tap playing “Gimme Some Money?”
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The following is a hypothetical conversation between Saul Hudson a.k.a. Slash and whatever visionary designed the cover for his first proper solo album, “Slash.” In this fantasy, we’ll call said designer, “Dufus Jones.”
The scene: A smokey bar. It’s name is probably a crass pun. Presumably, there’s a female silhouette accompanying its name on the neon sign that rests above the bar’s entrance. Saul Hudson, out-of-touch guitar icon, sips a diet soda. He sits across from Dufus Jones, a mid-thirties graphic designer who’s greatest success is a poster identifying various kinds of farts. They are discussing the cover for Saul’s upcoming album.
Dufus: (Nervously) Mr. Hudson. This album is going to be huge. Do you know how long your fanbase has been waiting to hear you collaborate with Fergie?
Saul Hudson: (Cool as ice) Call me Saul.
Dufus: Sure thing Saul.
Saul Hudson: (Irritated.) I mean Slash. Call me Slash.
Dufus: Erm… Sure thing Mr. Slash.
Saul Hudson: Just Slash. (For a moment Saul Hudson pulls down his glasses. He does this for effect, just like Axl did, so many years ago…)
Dufus: (Clears throat) Well, as I was saying, Slash, this album is epic. People are going to hear this and be all, “Guns N’ Who? Velvet Revolv-what?”
Saul Hudson: (Laughs gruffly. For a man who often is told what he wants to hear, he has not grown tired of it.)
Dufus: (Continues) Now, what you need to accompany an album like this is a killer cover. I’m talking more epic than the first Slash’s Snakepit album.
Saul Hudson: (Holds up his empty soda glass. A Publicist Dufus hadn’t even noticed is there in moments with a fresh one. Saul takes a pull before offering his considered reply.) More epic than the cover of “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere?” Have you seen that cover? It’s a snake, coiled around a bone in such a way that they together make a dollar sign. It’s wearing my hat, and smoking. That, my friend, is the snowy peak of epic.
As most of you well know, the internet is host to a seemingly infinite number of semi-literate and wholly-baffling opinions. (See this website for several examples.) Perhaps the greatest concentration of these can be found at the retail monolith amazon.com, where customer reviews defy the laws of grammar and logic more often than not. Let’s examine a few of the different ways we can enjoy the dubious meditations of amazon critics. All reviews are quoted exactly, typos and all, except when personal information has been censored.
1. One Star Reviews of Albums Commonly Accepted as “Great”
…on “Rubber Soul” by The Beatles
“Okay, let’s get it straight! I listen to this CD from the Florissant Valley County Library only once because ALL of the songs are totally BORING! I don’t think I’ll buy this CD…maybe………………………MY E-MAIL ADRESS IS thebeatlesfan*****@yahoo.com”
-This woman thinks Rubber Soul is a one-star album, yet her email address begins with “the beatles fan.” Also, she seems undecided on buying it, despite assigning it such a low score.
“This is nowhere near the finest album ever recorded. I’d say somewhere between #100 & #200. I have heard local bands do better than songs like this.”
-You know, even being on the low end of the top 200 hundred albums of all time would be quite an honor.
“Ok…but i prefer Jim Nabors…his voice and styling is superior to the Beatles…and a much better actor..”
-Unfortunately, few artists stand up to the “Jim Nabors Litmus Test.” People looking for a quick grammar lesson take note, this is exactly how to use ellipses.
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There are as many opinions about Health Care Reform as there are strains of the flu. Like it or lump it, the legislators have legislated. Here at Pure Pop we only see one course of action when vastly complicated and controversial bills dominate the headlines; we listen to songs that are superficially connected to them. In that spirit, we proudly present 10 songs to Celebrate or Lament Health Care Reform By.
1. Gregory Isaacs “Night Nurse”
A classy start.
2. Phish “Down With Disease”
The local heroes take a stand against disease.
3. Alien Sex Fiend “Here Cum Germs”
Is being a sex fiend covered under the new plan?
4. Deltron 3030 “Virus”
Animated persons are low-risk for skin disease.
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Have you ever seen a movie you didn’t enjoy, but for one reason or another you still found it commendable? Maybe it had a great performance or perhaps it highlighted a social issue in a way that you liked.
Have you ever known someone who you found insufferably boring, but you liked them anyway, perhaps because of their integrity or because they drive a nice car?
How about with music? I’ve sure experienced this. Here’s a list of bands and artists whose music I don’t enjoy but nonetheless meet with my approval.
Frank Zappa
I don’t care for his music because: Frank Zappa is without question a first-rate composer and performer. Nonetheless, his subversive approach to writing music leaves me cold. It’s perhaps unreasonable to entirely dismiss someone with such a massive catalog, but by and large I don’t enjoy the man’s music when I hear it.
He gets a pass because: Zappa’s autobiography, The Real Frank Zappa Book, is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Also, he wrote the theme song to Duckman and very nearly collaborated with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 folks. Also, this amazingness:
If I had to listen to an album: Cruising with Ruben & The Jets. Definitely.
Eric Clapton
I don’t care for his music because: Eric Clapton is one of the most successful solo artists in all of rock n’ roll. This is in no small part due to the man’s massive talent, but it’s also because most of what he does is extremely safe, middle-of-the-road blues rock. If that’s your bag, god bless you, but I find it sterile.
He gets a pass because: Eric Clapton relentlessly promotes fellow musicians. In the last decade alone, he’s released albums co-billed with B.B. King and J.J. Cale as well as co-headlined tours with the likes of Jeff Beck and Steve Winwood. Granted, these other artists are fairly well-known in their own right, but they get an undeniable boost when they’re working with The Clap’.
If I had to listen to an album: The Derek & The Dominoes album is great and I enjoy quite regularly. As far as solo stuff goes, uhm… one of the early ones?
Green Day
I don’t care for their music because: Green Day’s brand of stadium pop-punk is a bit too re-heated for me. Sure, when I was 13 their music was a revelation. Dookie was the soundtrack to my being in the seventh grade. Being older, Green Day just don’t strike me as a band that transcend their influences in any satisfying way. They’re way too produced for their style of music and the songs don’t say anything to me.
They get a pass because: When their latest album came out, Green Day refused to offer a censored version of the album, ensuring Wal-Mart wouldn’t carry it. As anemic as I find their music these days, I admire their taking a stand and I wish more bands would do the same.
If I had to listen to an album: Probably Insomniac, for the nostalgia.
Coldplay
I don’t care for their music because: As the always quotable Casey Rea one told me, Coldplay are Radiohead for soccer moms. They aspire to be the biggest band in the world. The consequence of making sure you are inoffensive to all pallets, however, is that you become flavorless.
They get a pass because: Chris Martin’s appearance as himself on Extras was savagely self-deprecating and performed with a surprising comic panache.
If I had to listen to an album: Probably the most recent, what with it’s Eno presence and all.
Beloved virtual-band Gorillaz return this week with their first album since 2005′s Demon Days. Having previously relegated production duties to top-shelf talents like Dan the Automater and Danger Mouse, Gorillaz boldly do it for themselves this go-round. Frightened? Fear not. With Plastic Beach, the band demonstrate they are fully capable of producing the kinds of diverse, eclectic and infectious soundscapes they are known for.
Gorillaz are also known for their collaborations with guest musicians. In this respect, Plastic Beach does not come up short. There’s a little something for everybody here; from high-profile MC’s like Snoop Dogg and Mos Def to icons like Bobby Womack and Lou Reed. By and large, everyone’s bringing their A-game. On “Some Kind of Nature,” it’s thrilling to hear Reed sing with a bit of youthful energy for the first time in decades. Grime MC’s Kano and Bashy are delightful on “White Flag.” “Superfast Jellyfish” offers the head-scratching pairing of De La Soul with The Super Furry Animals’ Gruff Rhys in an album highpoint. A handful of so-so performances aside (Mark E. Smith, I’m looking at you), Plastic Beach’s guests deliver on the promise of their pedigree.
Damon Albarn, the band’s mastermind, is in fine form as well. One need only listen to the sublime “Rhinestone Eyes” for evidence that Albarn is up to the task of carrying a song without assistance. It’s difficult to offer praise for the rest of the band because I’m not entirely clear on who’s doing what for Gorillaz these days. Whoever these unsung heroes may be, they do nice work.
Plastic Beach has a few faltering tracks, and the band’s sound is a little less striking than it was ten years ago when their genre-hopping style was less commonplace. Nonetheless, Plastic Beach is a worthy successor to Demon Days and one of 2010′s best releases so far. If you haven’t seen it yet, check out the video for the album’s first single, “Stylo.” It’s fantastic. (Unfortunately we can’t embed it.)
This month sees the reissuing of the Buzzcocks’ first three albums in comprehensive two-disc sets from Mute Records. Even though I’ve yet to hear the quality of their mastering, I’m going to call this good news on faith. All three albums are wonderful. The Buzzcocks legacy may be dwarfed by some of their peers like The Clash or The Sex Pistols, but their output is as good as anything in the 70′s British Punk canon.
Another Music in a Different Kitchen, their debut, is also their third best. This is only in light of the excellence of the subsequent albums and is not to say Another Music isn’t worthy of your time. Tracks like “Fast Cars” and “Autonomy” are among the band’s greatest. This is a brisk and consistent collection of quality punk songs.
Love Bites, my favorite Buzzcocks record, came out six months later. The band didn’t revolutionize their approach with this album, but they sure refined it. The music on Love Bites is fantastic and the lyrics are inspired, anti-love tirades. One of the catalysts for the punk rock movement was the need for an antidote to the glutenous, over-wrought popular music of the time. The way Love Bites subverts the cliched sentiments of conventional pop music is delightful and just a bit devilish.
The Buzzcocks third album (which would be followed by an extended hiatus and irregular appearances of forgettable albums) was A Different Kind of Tension, released a mere year and a half after their debut. A Different Kind of Tension, though a bit uneven, finds the Buzzcocks in an ambitious and exploratory mood. Tracks like “Paradise” and “I Don’t Know What To Do With My Life” wouldn’t be out of place on either of the previous albums, but others, like the deceptively sweet “You Say You Don’t Love Me” and the sprawling, album-highlight “I Believe,” push the boundaries of the band’s sound in exciting directions.
These two-disc sets retail at $16.97, which is a heck of a price. Anyone with the slightest interest in punk owes it to his or herself to look into these seminal albums.
