A lot of us at Pure Pop have been in this music game for a while. When you spend as much time following the news and watching the trends as we do, you develop a sixth sense for what’s coming next. Don’t believe us? Bookmark this page and look at it again in one years’ time. You will be shocked by how accurate these predictions turn our to be. (Note: The following is strictly a piece of comedy. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.)
5. Kanye West Mauled by Bear
During a visit to the San Diego Zoo, the contentious Kanye West will misinterpret a grizzly bear’s scratching of an itch as a personal affront. In retaliation, West will enter the cage and confront said bear, only to be mauled and disfigured. Surviving the incident, West will post a poorly-written and insincerely-self-deprecating post on his blog acknowledging that his hubris has once again left him with egg on his face.
4. Tom Waits Experiences Career Renaissance Due to Tonsillectomy
Gravel-voiced icon Tom Waits will undergo a necessary tonsillectomy this spring. Consequently, Waits’ gruff, growling vocal delivery will be forever changed. His growling tenor will transform into a smooth alto croon. Invigorated and inspired by his new Rick-Astley-esque voice, Waits will release a series of lively big-band arrangements of his most beloved songs. His initially skeptical fan base will embrace Waits 2.0 as will mainstream audiences as never before.
3. Phish Break Up and Get Back Together
During their spring tour, Trey Anastasio will tearfully announce that Phish have once again reached an impasse and decided to go their separate ways. During the summer, each former member of the band will embark on various unsuccessful projects, including six instrumental solo albums by Trey, a collaborative album between Mike Gordon and Living Colour’s drummer, an anthology of limericks by Page Mcconell and a new album from Jon Fishman’s Pork Tornado. This fall, on Phish’s website, the band will issue a statement saying they’ve realized they are at their happiest and most creative when working together. The subsequent early winter tour will be their most well-attended since the previous reunion tour.
2. Scarlett Johansson Records 2pac Tribute Album
Undaunted by the universal scorn that greeted her album of Tom Waits covers, Scarlett Johansson will continue to pursue her musical ambitions. Setting her sights on martyred hip-hop legend 2pac, Johansson and producer Daniel Lanois will release an album of down-tempo interpretations of 2pac’s songs. The album sells poorly, becoming a a synonym for celebrity excess and pop-culture vapidity. It’s greatest condemnation will come from 2pac’s mother, Afeni Shakur, who says of the album, “It’s the worst thing to happen to my son since he got shot.”
1. Bono Reveals Indifference To Injustice and Suffering
In a candid interview with Playboy, U2’s Bono will confess his various altruistic endeavors are part of a series of publicity stunts that, as the singer will put it, “…have paid off handsomely.” The Irishman will go onto admit that he “couldn’t really care less about other people’s problems. Have you seen my massive house? It’s bigger than most high schools. I’m not going to mope around over some starving people I’ll never meet when I’m living like an Egyptian emperor, am I?” When pressed for anything that does bother him, Bono will admit that, “Sometimes my personal chef will behave a little informally around me. That irks me to no end.”
When two or more creative personalities dissolve a partnership, the inevitable disparity of accomplishment between the former collaborators can be anything from slight to a gaping chasm. Consider Cheech & Chong. When the comedy duo parted ways, Cheech Marin’s success eclipsed Tommy Chong’s considerably.
Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari, a Famous Chonger
In the world of music, this phenomenon is all too common. Here are some unfortunate people who “Chonged” it.
Grant Hart
Hart was a vocalist and drummer for Husker Du. Hart composed about a third of the band’s songs, including many of their best. (Just listen to “Terms of Psychic Warfare.”) When the they split, the band’s other principle songwriter, Bob Mould, went on to achieve his greatest success with a new project, Sugar. These days, Mould’s a respected solo artist who released his ninth solo album to acclaim last year. Hart, on the other hand, has not fared as well. He was misdiagnosed as HIV positive following Husker Du’s break-up. He lived under that misapprehension for six months. His solo career, while producing some memorable and worthwhile albums, hasn’t come close to Mould’s prosperity.
Pete Wylie
Undoubtedly, many of those fortunate enough to have seen The Clash in their heyday were inspired to form bands of their own. The Crucial Three was one such band. They wouldn’t last long enough to record anything, but two of their members would go on to achieve fame and glory. Ian McCulloch formed Echo & The Bunnymen. Julian Cope would find his niche with Teardrop Explodes and as a solo artist. The other guy? Well, Pete Wylie was in a number of bands and, to be fair, he enjoyed a small degree of success. On the other hand, ever hear of Wah!? No? Didn’t think so.
Einar Örn Benediktsson
The Sugar Cubes were a sort of Icelandic B-52s, and their Fred Schneider was Einar Örn Benediktsson, an eccentric and charismatic co-frontman. The other singing Sugar Cube, Bjork, would go on to achieve massive international success and icon status. Benediktsson kept a much lower profile following his band’s break-up, writing a bit here and there and releasing the occasional, obscure album.
Johnny Marr
Perhaps the most famous musician to Chong on this list, Johnny Marr was one-half of The Smiths songwriting team, a group that influenced and inspired generations. To this day they are one of the 80’s most beloved bands. Unfortunately,they fell apart after four albums. Morrissey went solo and had no trouble maintaining his legions of fans. As integral as Marr was, writing all the band’s music, he has not been able to parlay his credentials to nearly the same degree. As Morrissey continues to release high-profile albums and embark on prestigious tours, Marr’s greatest successes have been sporadic appearances on other artists albums and the occasional stint as a sideman in groups like Modest Mouse.
Andrew Ridgely
They may be nothing more than a punchline today, but Wham! were quite popular when they first hit the scene. The duo put out three multi-platinum albums in four years, no small feat. Frustrated with the teen-baiting corner they’d painted themselves into, George Michael dissolved the group and went solo, releasing one of the best-selling albums of all-time and cementing his status as pop-star-for-life. Ridgely tried his hand at racing before unsuccessfully attempting to relaunch his music career. These days, he golfs.
Rodan
KMD were no great triumph. The endearing hip-hop trio were beset by some terrible luck. For one thing, one of their members, Subroc, was killed during the production of their second album. Subsequently, their label deemed that album too offensive for release and shelved it. It would not see the light of day for another eight years, in an attempt to capitalize on the momentum of former-KMD member (and Subroc’s brother) Zev Love X’s success under his new alias, MF Doom. KMD’s other founding member, Rodan, hasn’t done anything more notable than a couple of under-the-radar releases and a handful of appearances on MF Doom albums.
We’ve had plenty of people weigh in on the best music of the past year, reinforcing my conviction that 2009 was a superlative year for aural fetishists. However, let us not forget the dross, for there has also been a whole lot of crap. In recognizing some of the worst these past twelve months have had to offer, be grateful you have discriminating tastes. Some people eat this shit up.
Chickenfoot – Chickenfoot
The debut from this “supergroup” is the sonic equivalent of Roger Moore’s performance in View to a Kill, in which a 57-year-old Moore phones in an awkward farewell performance as James Bond, a role he should have given up fifteen years prior. Sammy Hagar (Van Halen), Marc Anthony (Van Halen), Joe Statriani and Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers) are clearly trying to carry the Led Zepplin mantle but simply come off as a terrible bar band. Even if you love Joe Satriani and Hagar-era Van Halen, this album has nothing to offer you but incompetent riffs and the death-rattle like rasps of a man who used to be able to carry a tune.
Asher Roth – Asleep in the Bread Aisle
With any other album on this list, if you were to say to me, “Herb. I know it’s not your thing, but I like it,” I’d let you have it. Lord knows I listen to plenty of stuff that other people despise. The exception is this musical abomination by Asher Roth, who’s break out single “I Love College” is lazy, derivative and repugnant. The kind of lifestyle Roth celebrates with his music is characterized by merry ignorance, lecherous sexuality and milquetoast wit. Roth is the embodiment of the worst qualities of mainstream music and the manufactured personalities it produces.
Owl City – Ocean Eyes
Tacky. Saccharine. Overly-sentimental. Garbage. Ocean Eyes is a Postal Service record filtered through a Family Circus cartoon. Every song is a polished-to-nothing and empty-headed epic-ballad that makes Captain & Tennille sound like Black Sabbath. I feel a little bad writing this, because I believe Adam Young, who is Owl City’s sole member, is a sincere songwriter. Unfortunately, he gives me a severe allergic reaction.
Various Artists – The Michael Jackson Remix Suite
The crass commercial exploitation that follows a celebrity’s death is as likely as the wetness that follows rain, but as often and inevitably as the macabre exercise occurs, it never loses its capacity to disgust. There were a number of releases in the wake of Michael Jackson’s death that exemplified this, but none more so than The Michael Jackson Remix Suite, a collection of profoundly boring remixes of Jackson’s hits that have sapped the originals of their vitality and charm. If the goal of this album was to reflect via Jackson’s songs what Jackson did to himself, mission accomplished. Like the former King of Pop, these songs are grotesque, unnatural caricatures that have been sedated to death.
Hey, it’s my top ten list for this year. Hope you like. It’s been a rough year for me. High school sucks.
7. The Jesus And Mary Chain, “Automatic”
This tape is really cool, but too short even though it has two extra songs on it. It has a really neat rocking sound with electric drums. Triple-X has been playing “Head On” a lot but I like “Blues From A Gun” way better. I don’t care about the state of my hair!
Ten years ago I was enrolled at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. It doesn’t feel like a long time ago, but looking over my haphazardly-compiled best-of-the-decade list, I’m forced to consider the range and scope of the experiences that I will forever associate with these fantastic albums. It’s been a hell of a decade.
Apparently 2003 was a particularly great year in music for me. It occupies about half this list. Also, the second half of the decade only provided me with two albums. Is that a consequence of my growing cynicism? I’d like to think it’s simply a matter of these albums not having had a chance to resonate as deeply as something like Pig Lib, which was a daily source of comfort and inspiration during a tough time.
If I were to reconsider this tomorrow, I think about half the list would stay the same. Contrary to what some might say (Casey Rea, I’m looking at you), the aughts have been a fertile decade for music. (At least the first half. The second, I think, may belong to television, but I digress.)
My favorite album’s of the decade:
Deltron 3030 -- s/t (2000) – The best thing Dan The Automater, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien or Kid Koala have ever done is this early-millennium masterpiece. The production is staggering and Del is in fine-form. This is a genre-transcending hip-hop record.
Super Furry Animals - Mwng (2000) – I was pleased to see Casey The Contrarian include Rings Around The World on his list, but I’m going to have to side with its predecessor, Mwng. With their former label bankrupt, the band had a lot to prove. Rather than play it safe, SFA released an all-Welsh home-brewed triumph. They put it out on their own and managed to parlay its acclaim into a deal with a new label.
Daft Punk -- Discovery (2001) – Possibly my favorite album on this list, Discovery raised the bar. Infectious, upbeat, moving and witty, there’s not really anything that compares. It towers over the rest of the band’s catalog as well as the rest of the French House scene.
Steve Malkmus -- Pig Lib (2003) – With his solo debut, Malkmus demonstrated that he’d be just fine without Pavement. With Pig Lib, he almost made you forget about his former band. Everything about this record is seeped in excellence.
5. 2009 Has Been a Great Year for Music: Whatever your genre preference, there’s been a lot of wonderful stuff coming out in 2009. It’s impossible to be brief and concise conveying the scope of quality 2009 titles. Some of my personal favorites include Phoenix’s Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, The Fuck Button’s Tarot Sport, Fever Ray’s Fever Ray and Beirut’s March of the Zapotec/Holland. Of course, I’ve barely scratched the surface.
4. Vinyl’s Still Going Strong: The resurgence of vinyl’s popularity over the last few years has been an absolute blessing for audiophiles. We’re at a point now where it’s safe to assume any given album will see a vinyl issue, often coupled with a voucher for an mp3 download of your purchase. These days, it’s a no-brainer picking sides in the format war. (Incidentally the only new record I purchased on both cd and vinyl this year was Bad Lieutenant.)
3. Reissues Abound: The extent to which an old album can be cleaned-up, remixed and remastered is staggering. 2009 saw the best-sounding records of the 60’s, The Beatles catalog, reissued and sounding vastly improved. It’s nothing short of revelatory to listen to one of your favorite albums after a top-notch remastering. Currently, about half our staff are obsessively listening to and extolling the virtues of the magnificent sounding reissue of King Crimson’s Red.
2. A Good Showing From The Elder Statesmen: Question: What do Bob Dylan, Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr and Yoko Ono have in common? Answer: They’ve all been producing music for over twenty-five years and they all released great albums this year. 2009 has been kind to the old guard, or should I say the old guard has been kind to us in 2009? There’s been so much good stuff from established acts this year, one could ignore all the newer artists and still have plenty to listen to.
1. We Are Still Here: It’s been a tough decade for the music retail industry. CD burner’s, legal and illegal digital music distribution and the prevalence of mp3 players have all put a tight squeeze on our livelihood, and yet we’re still here. Truthfully, it’s a bit of a miracle we’ve managed to hang in, and for that, we are greatly thankful. It’s a lot of hard work, but we believe in it and are proud to continue to make tangible music product available to those who want it.
You’re probably wondering why we’re posting a Christmas list when we’re still a week away from Thanksgiving – I’m not going to lie to you, I listen to Christmas music around the holidays starting as early as now. Yes, behind this cold cynical record store clerk exterior beats the heart of a warm blooded sentimentalist.
While the beloved classics; Vince Guaraldi, Bing Crosby, The Chipmunks – are never far away from our 8-track decks (am i right?) sometimes we need a little push in a bold new direction, and by we, I mean you. So here’s Pure Pop’s list of 5 Christmas Albums you may not have heard of yet but which are definitely worth checking out.
5: Jethro Tull – The Jethro Tull Christmas Album
For a band that’s been making music about minstrels, peasants, kings, paupers, and the like for 40+ years it would seem like a no brainer that in 2003 they came out with a Christmas album. Filled to the brim with a combination of 70’s prog-rock, traditional british folk, and their own blend of oddball Dickensian lyricism and wit, The Jethro Tull Christmas Album feels like a lost relic from their creative heyday, entirely listenable as a holiday album, or just a great collection of Tull Songs.
4: My Morning Jacket – Does Christmas Fiasco Style EP
Bet you didn’t know about this little diamond in the rough, but yes – My Morning Jacket did in fact put out a Christmas EP, and if you’re a fan of MMJ (and if Pure Pop’s sales figures are correct, you’re legion.) than this one should certainly be playing at your next ironic holiday sweater party. (Note: Pure Pop Records does not condone the wearing of sweaters for ironic purposes at any time.) Just throw this well crafted little number in to the mix with some other well known classics and see how well it blends. And for those who care, there’s even an excellent cover of Nick Cave’s “New Morning”.
3: Reverend Horton Heat – We Three Kings
This is the Christmas album that you play at the Christmas party, that gets out of hand. It’s classic Reverend HH straight up Punkabilly fun and the boys in the band are in top form on a great collection of classics. I’d write more about it here, but there’s really nothing else to say.
2: Sufjan Stevens -Songs For Christmas
This is a 5 CD box set compiling 5 years of Stevens’ yearly Christmas offerings and if you’re familiar with the man’s output you know that while he’s fairly prolific, level of quality in his output is remarkably high. His string arrangements alone on these pieces take tired old holiday classics and bring out their original luster. Pretty much essential for any fan of delicate and maudlin Indie Rock.
1: Bob Dylan – Christmas In The Heart
Nevermind all the pundits pointing out the irony of Mr. Zimmerman making Christmas music, that’s not the point… Actually I’m not sure what the point is with this one. Is it a joke? A joke that no one but Bob himself is in on? Or is a serious attempt at making entertaining, timeless holiday music… Who knows, all we know is that it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds on paper and it’s often surprisingly good in places, with a ragged thrown off quality and subtle unfettered playing. Perfect for a night around the fire drinking heavily spiked eggnog.
We probably pay a bit too much attention to Morrissey on this site, but that’s because we love him. As many of you may know, he recently collapsed on-stage after performing just one song, “This Charming Man”. He’s been ill with what’s apparently some sort of respiratory problem. Morrissey’s been working hard the past few years, touring aggressively in support of a string of wonderful albums. Perhaps it’s all caught up with the fifty-year-old.
In tribute to our favorite melancholy crooner, here’s five great Morrissey songs. Get well soon, Moz!
(None of these songs are terribly obscure, but we also wanted to avoid anything too obvious. The most well known Morrissey songs, though they don’t appear here, are certainly among his best.)
1. “You’re Gonna Need Someone on Your Side” - The opening track for one of the man’s finest records, Your Arsenal, the track and album are a little more rocking than Morrissey one would expect Morrissey to be. (That’s not to say it’s rocking enough to bring new fans into the fold.)
2. “Sunny” - After Morrissey switched to RCA, EMI released this track as a single, hoping another label’s marketing push would send some dollars their way. It subsequently appeared on the terribly uneven My Early Burglary Years compilation. The track is a lovely little bit of Morrissey whimsy.
3. “Irish Blood, English Heart” - In the late 90’s, it seemed Morrissey had all but completely run out of steam. In 2004, he heralded a true return-to-form with You Are The Quarry, arguably the man’s best solo material to date. After spending nearly a decade as the de facto has-been press punching-bag, Morrissey proved he could still be great. This is a fine example of the caliber of that material.
4. “Reader Meet Author” - Even the worst Morrissey albums have decent tracks. Take this number from Southpaw Grammar, a misfire from 1995, and the only proper Morrissey album not to feature a picture of the man on the cover. (Is it a coincidence that it was also one his most poorly received?) This track is a highlight.
5. “We Hate it When Our Friends Become Successful” -- Say what you will about Morrissey, the man loves reflective shirts. Another tune from Your Arsenal, this one finds Morrissey humorously reflecting on the way success seems to breed a certain kind of alienation.
Tanner, who since he was twelve spends most of his time planning an ever-more-elaborate, ever-less-likely-to-happen wedding for himself, came upon this dull website for what appears to be a collective of wedding dj’s. Amusingly, there’s a page of indie-rock themed wedding mixes, all of which look like rough drafts for the Garden State soundtrack. Being the bitter, dry husks of human beings that we are, the first thing we thought was, “What would the opposite of these mixes look like?”
In that spirit, we proudly offer you seven tracks to spoil the mood at a wedding.
1. The Big Pink -- Dominos
“As soon as I love her it’s been too long.
And I really love breaking your heart”
2. The Mountain Goats -- No Children
“And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can’t find one good thing to say
And I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You’d stay the hell out of my way
I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die”
3. XTC -- Your Dictionary
“Now your laughter has a hollow ring
But the hollow ring has no finger in
So lets close the book and let the day begin
And our marriage be undone”
4. Rolling Stones -- Out of Time
“You’re out of touch, my baby
My poor discarded baby
I said, baby, baby, baby, you’re out of time”
5. Husker Du -- Never Talking to You Again
“I’d put you down where you belong
But I’m never talking to you again
I’d show you everywhere you’re wrong
But I’m never talking to you again”
6. The Misfits -- Last Caress
“Well, I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn’t matter much to me
As long as its dead”
7. Jarvis Cocker -- Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time
” ’cause the years fly by in an instant
and you wonder what he’s waiting for
and then some skinny bitch walks by in some hotpants
and he’s running out the door”
I Wanna Hold Your Hand ($4.88) - Before the Back To The Future Trilogy or Forrest Gump, Robert Zemeckis made his film debut with this charming tale of three young women who want to encounter The Beatles during their legendary 1964 New York visit for three very different reasons.
Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny ($8.88) -- Skeptical audiences skipped this one at the box office, all but ensuring we’ll never see a sequel. It’s too bad, because this Tenacious D origin story/fantasy epic is a sturdy piece of comedy loaded with inspired gags, hilarious cameos and classic D tracks.
Cry-Baby ($9.88) - John Waters‘ 1990 nostalgia fest stars a very young Johnny Depp as a 50’s gang member who falls in love with a straight-laced girl. Spoofing the conventions of teen musicals and mainstream portrayals of sub-culture, Cry-Baby is endlessly entertaining.
Nashville ($6.88) - Robert Altman directed a handful of truly great films in his vast career, and Nashville is one of the best. It features most of Altman’s hallmarks, including massive group action, overlapping dialogue and a dizzying number of intertwining plot threads. Even people entirely disinterested in the music culture of Nashville, Tennessee will find a lot in this film to fascinate them.
Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai ($6.88) -- Allright, this is not a music-themed film by any stretch of the imagination. It is a great movie by the incomporable Jim Jarmusch about a modern man living by the samurai code who owes a life-debt to a local mobster. It gets a little complicated from there. Why is it on this list? Well, RZA did the music. Duh.
