We’ve all seen those annoying “Before They Were Famous” bits on tv and in print. Well, here at the Pure Pop Blog we’re not above indulging in cliches. The truth is a lot of you have probably seen this stuff before. However, those that haven’t need to. We must never forget that these beloved artists are fallible.

Phil Collins – Flaming Youth

Claim to Fame - Phil Collins is currently shorthand for soulless mainstream garbage but he used to be pretty cool. He’s a first rate drummer who’s elevated many classic albums with his contributions and he revolutionized the way we feel about things coming in the air at night. His first high-profile gig was drumming for Genesis, a band he would go on to lead into the upper stratosphere of musical success.

Before All That - Collins was the drummer for Flaming Youth, a pastoral rock quartet who to be fair weren’t all that bad. They never really went anywhere, prompting the young and eager musician to pursue other projects. How much does this video remind you of Spinal Tap playing “Gimme Some Money?”

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Each week we get hundreds of pieces of used vinyl in – you name it we see it come through here. Usually it’s a ton of useless Joan Baez,  Boz Scaggs & Supertramp vinyl, but occasionally we get something in that for better or worse really stands out. This section is dedicated to these finds.

Our first “Cover of the Month” comes from one of Burlington’s not so fertile periods of local rock music, 1985.

Introducing BOYZ.

Tanner: I think i’ve seen this album circulating in the backroom for at least 3 years, it’s about time we expose it’s awesomeness. You know, it’s nice to know we’re carrying on the Burlington tradition of tight black jeans into the new Millennium.

Herb: I have absolutely no idea what these guys sound like. My guess is Huey Lewis & The News meets Billy Idol.

Tanner: Think the middle guy’s going for a Young Springsteen, pissing against a wall look.

Herb: Maybe he’s doing his version of what he thought the cover of “The River” should look like. Yuk-yuk.

Tanner: Bruce Springsteen and the “Pee” Street Band…

Herb: Wow. Anyway, I think the guy in the back is the drummer and I know where he keeps his sticks.

Tanner: Hot Dog we have a Weiner.

Herb: Is one of his arms longer than the other?

Tanner: I heard Elastic waistband pants were the keyboard neckties of mid 80′s Burlington soft rock.

Herb: I guess when you’re packing that kind of heat, you don’t really have to try. Everything about the dude, package aside, says “I don’t give two sultry shits”.

Tanner: And then there’s trying to hard…

Herb: Hotchy-Motchy

Tanner: You’ve gotta stand away from the wall a little more when you’re doing shadow puppets.

Herb: Here is a man who would have rather been posing for romance novel covers than rocking and rolling.

Tanner: This guy was in the band for one reason only. Dudes.

Herb: This is making me depressed. These guys were probably talking about quitting their jobs, sending the album to Warner Brothers, going on tour with Joe Jackson…

Tanner: Here’s hoping this post sees a BOYZ revival a la Death….

Herb & Tanner: … Nah.

Ah, 1981. Ronald Reagan was president, Raiders of the Lost Ark was the top grossing film and MTV launched. It was also the year Tanner McCuin and his brother from another mother Herb van der Poll were born. In honor of that wonderful year and the fact we can’t think of anything else to write about, Tanner and Herb have decided to discuss the top 5 singles globally of 1981.

1. “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes

Tanner McCuin – Who the fuck is Kim Carnes? We’re gonna have to go to Youtube for this one.

Herb van der Poll - According to Wikipedia, it was sampled by Akon on “Angel Eyes”, and is featured in the movie Duets, where it’s performed by Gwyneth Paltrow.

***The guys listen to the song***

Tanner – I kind of like it.

Herb – Ugh. That sounds like a friend’s demo. A bad one.

Tanner – There’s a Kathleen Turner thing going on. Makes me want to watch Romancing the Stone.

Herb – I like the keyboard tone, but my mind is blown that this was any kind of success. Can we stop now?

Tanner – She sounds like a female Rod Stewart.

Herb – She sounds like a male Rod Stewart.

2. Soft Cell – “Tainted Love”

***Long pause. Both sip coffee while loading video on l’internet***

Herb – I prefer the original version.

Tanner -  I like the addition of the shuffely beat. Also, that the guy in the video is a Virgo like me. Therefor, I give it two thumbs up.

Herb – Do you remember towards the end of the Coneheads movie when Dan Akyroyd is singing this song?

Tanner – I do not.

Herb – What’s the Conehead patriarch’s name? Algar?

Tanner – Nah, dog. That’s Garth’s last name in Wayne’s World.

Herb – (looks it up) Beldar. Anyway, Beldar’s singing of the song is meant to convey how much he’s embraced our culture. I believe the film is saying to know Soft Cell is to know what it means to be human.

Tanner – Yeah. That’s probably it.

3. Phil Collins – “In The Air Tonight”

Herb – Finally. An unequivocally great song. I happen to know that he showed this track to the guys in Genesis and they didn’t want to do it.

Tanner – All I can think of when I listen to this song is David Copperfield. (shrugs)

Herb – I suppose it does have a Dickensian quality. The sense of helplessness in random yet inevitably occuring tragedy.

Tanner - You have a Dick-headsian quality. I was talking about the magician.

Herb – Erm…. How about that drum sound?

Tanner – There are a lot of hilarious urban legends surrounding this song.

Herb – …and they’re all true. Like how Phil Collins is singing about withnessing a murder, and then the murderer heard it at a Phil Collins show and was so riddled with guilt he killed himelf.

Tanner – That was the first time he’d heard the song?

Herb – Totally. The dude went because he loved Sussudio.

4. John Lennon “Woman”

Herb – This was the first single issued after Lennon’s death.  It’s crap. The only reason it was a success was because people were mourning.

Tanner – Mention that you looked that up on wikipedia.

Herb – Do I have to every time?

Tanner – Yes. Anyway, you can tell why this isn’t one of his more revered songs.

Herb – This compounds the tragedy of Lennon’s assassination. Seriously.

Tanner – Was it technically an assassination?

Herb - Sure.

Tanner (looks up assassination) “The targeted murder of a high profile person.”

Herb - There you go.

Tanner – It is really sweet how devoted he was to his wife.

Herb (rolls eyes)

5. Stars on 45 – “Stars on 45″

Herb - Another one I have never heard of. This job takes me to really interesting places. Youtube it!

***Youtubed it***

Tanner – Gosh.

Herb – It’s sort of like the Girl Talk of the 80′s.

Tanner – We’ve just discovered the proto-mashup.

Herb – Hmmm…. A Dutch act doing novelty medleys of pop songs with a disco beat. I’m in heaven.

***Long Pause***

Herb – Uhm. Let’s watch it again.

Tanner – No one said this job was easy.

***Watched it again***

Herb - It’s a really interesting kind of awful. It’s out of place with what we conventionally think of the late 70′s or early 80′s being like aesthetically.

Mike Crandall - (Chimes in) The thing about Stars on 45 is there’s not really any artistic value to it whatsoever.

Tanner – Concurred. Like modern mash-ups, they’re just throwing everyone’s favorite songs together with a beat so people can shake their ass and make out.

Herb - What are you trying to say?

Tanner - I’ve got some sugar-free cranberry juice and vodka in the fridge. How many Stars on 45 videos are on youtube?

Herb – Dozens.