Sometime ago I was a DJ on WRUV and decided to host a 9 am to noon radio show on Christmas Day. I didn’t really have anything better to do than eat Chinese food and go to the movies with the rest of the non-Christian contingent, anyway. That really marked the beginning of my exploration of Christmas music. Generally, I, like many others, clutch my head to keep my ears from bleeding as I walk past yet another retail outlet that is piping the dogs barking Jingle Bells into the great outdoors for all to enjoy. That is why I’m so glad that bands are still writing original Christmas tunes. To paraphrase the director John Waters (who, by the way, has his own fascinating Christmas album), you can pick your own way to celebrate this season: you can make it a cynical celebration, a sad celebration, a hysterical celebration. But you have to pick, because as much as some of us might like to, this a season which just can’t be ignored. What I really love about most of these songs is that while they acknowledge how the holidays (no matter what denomination you subscribe to) are always difficult in so many different ways, they never lose that essential cheer.

1. Candy Canes – The Physics Club

They’re local, they love Christmas, and they’re almost dangerously fun. In fact, they only put out Christmas albums. You can also check out The Physics Club Half Hour Radio Hour on the Radiator Tuesdays 6-8 pm (don’t worry – it’s not just holiday music). Every song is a gem; another favorite is Holiday Family Time.

2. Always Winter Never Christmas – XTC

Actually XTC has several great Christmas tunes, including Thanks for Christmas, played by their alter ego The Three Wise Men. This one captures that feeling of being a kid and having to wait through that so, so, so long night on the eve of the holidays.

3. Christmas Isn’t Safe for the Animals – Of Montreal

After getting revved up with the first two tunes I gotta mellow it out with this warning about how our winged and/ or furry friends might be feeling during these holidays. Plus, I really enjoy the little consumerism montage in the middle.

4. Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses

This song is a classic I would never want to go through a Christmas season without. This perfectly wraps up (chuckle, sssh) the dichotomy I am always looking for in a holiday tune. It’s song about trying to skip Christmas, and yet it’s so catchy it’s apt to make you more joyous than angsty.

5. Christmas Reindeer – The Knife

This one verges on annoying, but it also gets me oh so ready for the dance party. Time to get sloshed with Santa, or at least so woozy on holiday spirit that you could be swaying in the corner to this tune, hair in your face, totally not caring what your relatives and/or friends think.

6. A Change at Christmas Time (Say it isn’t so) – The Flaming Lips

I think of this song as The Flaming Lips’ response to Lennon’s Happy Christmas (War is Over). Not only do they both have parenthetical subtitles, but they are both also calls to action that make me so hopeful I just wanna curl up on the couch and cry a little whilst smiling.

7. Xmas in February – Lou Reed

This is the song I put on to stop the happy crying (like a sun shower)… and start some other kind of crying. You don’t want your guests just drifting off into lala land on too much egg nog and good cheer.

8. Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto – James Brown

James Brown’s Christmas album is definitely one of my favorite holiday discs. This song re-starts up the dance party.

9. Beatnik’s Wish – Patsy Raye & The Beatniks

If you sample no other song on this list, please lend an ear to this one. It’s so swinging. It’ll have you beret clad and snapping your fingers in no time.

10. Santa’s Beard – They Might be Giants

Keeping the weird sexuality associated with Santa alive.

11. Silent Night/Xmas Card from a Hooker – Tom Waits

Waits is a master storyteller, and so here’s a tale for those times when you find yourself pregnant, again, and living in Minneapolis over a dirty bookstore.

12. To Hell with Poverty! – Gang of Four

This is the song I have to finish any Christmas mix tape off with. While Christmas is not explicitly mentioned, this adds the moral I want any Christmas cd I give to have. This is my sincerest holiday wish. Instead of racing around to stores spending money we don’t really have on presents we’re not really sure people will really like, let’s all just get together, maybe indulge in a group hug, and instead of making this holiday a capitalist affair we’ll just say, “to hell with poverty, let’s get drunk on cheap wine!”